Here I am!

I haven't posted here since my twins were born almost 20 months ago, and I haven't checked on the other blogs that I was following in ages. I see that some folks are now on #2, and one woman who struggled with infertility for 7 years is almost due. I sometimes check the stats on this blog, and I think that people find it because they are searching for answers during their own TTC journey. I kept this blog while trying to conceive my second child for that exact reason - so that people could see what happened with me and maybe, just maybe, it would relieve some of the anxiety and stress of the fertility journey. I hope that you found what you are looking for here, and that you eventually become a parent. I am so lucky to have all that I have - including a "bonus" child!! (Since we were planning for two in total and ended up with three on account of the twins) Be kind to yourself, and remember that there is no such thing as false hope. Hope is just hope. -SH

Babies!

On Dec 3, at 5:45am, my water broke. Twin A was still breech when I got to the hospital, so at 8:58 my daughter was born by c-section, and a minute later came her brother. This may be my last entry, since clearly, we are no longer trying to conceive. Now, we are trying to get sleep!!!

36 weeks - contractions, cramps and c-sections

Babies are still breech so it's a definite c-section. Babies are over 6 1/2 pounds each, and I'm having contractions and cramps to suggest that I will have the babies sooner than later! My OB scheduled me for a c-section at 38 weeks but I can tell that my body is getting ready. Soon little babies - I can't wait to meet you!

turn baby turn - 34 weeks and still breech

So it's all about twin A. If twin A is head down, then I will not need a c-section. Since my 32 week ultrasound, twin B has turned but he has not left room for his sister to follow suit so while it is encouraging, it doesn't change my bottom line. Twin A has to turn!

Babies are well over 5 pounds, and I am so grateful to be this far. Even if they were born today, they would likely be totally fine. I am seriously uncomfortable, but hanging in ok. It's all for a great cause.

The countdown continues...

5 more weeks, at the most, holy $hi%!

It's hard to put into words how things are going these days. We have put everything we can into place, and now we are just hoping that babies stay in a little longer, and we are waiting to meet them! It's unbelievable. I can't wait!

I am cranky about people constantly saying stupid things to me about how we are going to be SO busy and SO tired etc. These babies are miracles, and no matter what, they will fill our lives with joy and happiness regardless of all of the work involved. We have a son already who has always given us way more than we could ever give to him.

I have a lot of aches and pains, but more than anything, I have a full heart.

I cannot wait to be a mother of 3.

30 1/2 weeks - The countdown is on

Something about passing the 30 week mark has made me feel like the countdown is really on. The babies are 3 pounds 10 oz each, and with every day I feel more and more confident that they will be ok. It's such a relief after so many weeks of worry that they might come too soon.

I feel like I am full-term and when I got to this point last time, I really was full term and within days delivered my son. This time it's not so simple. I still have up to 7 weeks left to go! I am grateful that the babies are safely inside, but man, this really does suck for me. Indigestion, aches, insomnia, fatigue - nothing totally crazy but a whole bunch of constant, annoying little ailments that make me feel like an old lady. I try to focus on the most important thing (healthy babies) but as things get harder and harder, it's hard not to feel a little bit sorry for myself.

I have reduced my hours at work and am now down to 3 days per week. It's going well, but even with the reduced work week I don't see myself going for too much longer. Every week it gets about 100% harder to do normal things like go to work. I am surprised and frustrated by how limited I am, but again, with my eye on the prize I don't want to take any chances.

Now, if only I can get the babies to flip so that I won't need a c-section.

28 1/2 weeks - It's been a BIG week

So d-day is less than 10 weeks away. In the past few months, we've moved our son into the room that we thought would be our guest room forever, we traded in the practical, fuel efficient car that we carefully chose when we had our first son (planning on 2 babies) for a minivan, and we've acquired a room full of carseats, bouncy chairs, basinettes, and baby clothes from friends and family who have been so generous. Just need some diapers and wipes, and we are all set for babies.

This past week (28 weeks) was really hard for me. This is the week when I really started to slow down. I can't do things that I used to do, and worst of all, I can't fully participate in my son's life in the way that I want to. That said, knowing a couple of people who both had twins at 27 weeks, I am very grateful to still have my babies inside of me - growing bigger and stronger. It's hard though.

I'm going part-time at work this week and will gradually reduce my work until I can't continue. I'm lucky to work in a place where I am accommodated, and do not take that for granted.

So I am lucky, I am frustrated, I am big, I am grateful, and I am getting my head around two babies coming into my family in the coming months.

It's been a big week!