Went for my HCG beta test, convinced that it was negative and then got a call that it was sort of positive. How can someone be a little bit pregnant? This is how: <5 is not pregnant, >25 is pregnant - my level is 7. So I'm not not pregnant, but I'm not pregnant either. So what am I?
I'll find out in 2 days when I go for my next test.
I'm neither happy nor sad - just waiting.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
At least I can drink...
So Christmas Eve morning, Christmas morning, yesterday and today I have peed on sticks. (5, 4, 3 and 2 days before my period, respectively) with negative results - according to the package instructions, there is only 2% chance that I could be pregnant now. I was feeling symptoms but now just feel like I have PMS. I think the HCG shot really did a number on me (tired, moody, hungry, insomnia) so I am not going to do that again. Even if it means that I have to do two inseminations, it's much better than being sick for half the month like I was this month.
I have a busy toddler to raise and will be down for the count for weeks once I do get pregnant (note: still optimistic) so would like to not feel awful during this period!
In the meantime, it's been nice to be able to drink a bit over the holidays - stressful family occasions just aren't the same without a glass or two of wine!
I have a busy toddler to raise and will be down for the count for weeks once I do get pregnant (note: still optimistic) so would like to not feel awful during this period!
In the meantime, it's been nice to be able to drink a bit over the holidays - stressful family occasions just aren't the same without a glass or two of wine!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
PS
The HCG shot gave me the worst headache and general icky feeling. Ugh. It's been a full day of this and I only seem to be feeling worse. Hopefully tomorrow will be better - at least I have no appointments at all tomorrow.
The waiting begins...
On Monday we went in (Day 13) and my follicles were 1.4 on the left and 1.5 on the right, and lining was about 7 so it all seemed to be coming together. The universe seemed to be leaning toward "go" for this month, and I felt excited that all the visits and acupuncture wouldn't be wasted!
The next day, (Day 14) follicles were 1.8 and 1.9 and lining was 8 - ideal! I was positive that I had surged but my bloodwork revealed that my LH was still at 7.9 (up from 7.4 the day before). In my view, the surge probably happened sometime yesterday morning (post-bloodwork), so when my nurse suggested that I come in at lunchtime to give myself an HCG injection (Ovidrel) I obliged. I was planning a totally unmedicated cycle, but figured that with all the ups and downs this month, a little help to make sure that I ovulated made sense. It was not the most convenient thing to have to do, but at this stage it was the right thing to do.
Resumed acupuncture and had an appointment after work yesterday to prepare for this morning: INSEMINATION! It was very strange to have my son there for the IUI - he normally amuses himself in the exam room by pushing the little stool around while we wait for the doctor. Today, the doctor came in and sat on the stool. We thought that the little guy was upset because he thought the doctor was hurting me, but we soon desiphered his 20-month old word as being "stool" - he was upset that the doctor was sitting on the stool, not that he was jabbing metal objects into my vagina. Fair enough.
The IUI was more uncomfortable than I remember it being - but overall it went fine. The doctor told us we should come in tomorrow for a second one, but we are going to just leave it at the one and hope that it is enough. It was a strange and somewhat irrational decision, but my partner and I had the same gut feeling about it so we went with it. As parents, we do this all the time and find it the only reliable source of direction most of the time. (Factors in the decision range from wanting a morning to just go to work without an appointment first, to the fact that we only have limited quantity of the sperm we used for our son)
So now we wait. Acupuncture yesterday and in two days to assist with implantation, and hopefully we get good news on Christmas morning!
The next day, (Day 14) follicles were 1.8 and 1.9 and lining was 8 - ideal! I was positive that I had surged but my bloodwork revealed that my LH was still at 7.9 (up from 7.4 the day before). In my view, the surge probably happened sometime yesterday morning (post-bloodwork), so when my nurse suggested that I come in at lunchtime to give myself an HCG injection (Ovidrel) I obliged. I was planning a totally unmedicated cycle, but figured that with all the ups and downs this month, a little help to make sure that I ovulated made sense. It was not the most convenient thing to have to do, but at this stage it was the right thing to do.
Resumed acupuncture and had an appointment after work yesterday to prepare for this morning: INSEMINATION! It was very strange to have my son there for the IUI - he normally amuses himself in the exam room by pushing the little stool around while we wait for the doctor. Today, the doctor came in and sat on the stool. We thought that the little guy was upset because he thought the doctor was hurting me, but we soon desiphered his 20-month old word as being "stool" - he was upset that the doctor was sitting on the stool, not that he was jabbing metal objects into my vagina. Fair enough.
The IUI was more uncomfortable than I remember it being - but overall it went fine. The doctor told us we should come in tomorrow for a second one, but we are going to just leave it at the one and hope that it is enough. It was a strange and somewhat irrational decision, but my partner and I had the same gut feeling about it so we went with it. As parents, we do this all the time and find it the only reliable source of direction most of the time. (Factors in the decision range from wanting a morning to just go to work without an appointment first, to the fact that we only have limited quantity of the sperm we used for our son)
So now we wait. Acupuncture yesterday and in two days to assist with implantation, and hopefully we get good news on Christmas morning!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Ups and downs
So day 9 was a letdown and as we approached the weekend, I'm thinking that if it isn't going to work anyway, do I want to haul into the clinic on the weekend for no reason? I called my nurse yesterday (day 10) to see if my levels continued to fall (results from the day 9 blood test) and she said that everything was fine. She said that they often see a drop on day 7 and if there had been a problem they would have called me. I was so confused, but frankly I was more relieved than anything so I went with it.
Full of renewed optimism, we went for the day 11 ultrasound today and my lining is up to 4.7, and my levels are rising. So that's good, right? My nurse wasn't there today, but the same doctor was and he said that my estrogen is way lower than it should be. What the hell?? I wish they could get their stories straight!! My follicle on the left went from 1.4 to 1.3, but the one on the right went from 1.1 to 1.4, so things may still be on the up and up.
I'm hoping my lining has a great few days and by Monday, we're planning for insemination. Alternatively, I hope that if it's over for this month, we know by Monday so we can just rest up for a few weeks and try again next month. Either way, I just want to know!!
Full of renewed optimism, we went for the day 11 ultrasound today and my lining is up to 4.7, and my levels are rising. So that's good, right? My nurse wasn't there today, but the same doctor was and he said that my estrogen is way lower than it should be. What the hell?? I wish they could get their stories straight!! My follicle on the left went from 1.4 to 1.3, but the one on the right went from 1.1 to 1.4, so things may still be on the up and up.
I'm hoping my lining has a great few days and by Monday, we're planning for insemination. Alternatively, I hope that if it's over for this month, we know by Monday so we can just rest up for a few weeks and try again next month. Either way, I just want to know!!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Day 9
So it's been an overwhelming 9 days.
Restarting fertility treatments after having a baby is very strange. I don't have the same fears and insecurities that I had the first time around. I know that I can do this - why stress? Well...
Day 1 came and I had already been to a couple of acupuncture appointments so I was feeling way ahead of the game. I went to the clinic on day 3 for blood and ultrasound, and then again on day 7, all the while continuing with acupuncture every few days. Everything seemed to be on track and we were really looking forward to this appointment (day 9) because I tend to ovulate early in my cycle, so this one was going to be one of the "it's getting close" ones.
At today's appointment, I heard words I've never heard before: you might not ovulate this cycle. What? Me? I'm the girl who got pregnant on my totally unmedicated cycle! I'm the girl who can tell, down to the minute, exactly when I surge. How could I not ovulate?? My estrogen is plummeting and my lining is thinning out, so there you have it. Irrefutable evidence. Ugh.
So I'll go back on day 11 and hope that the 1.4 cm left-side follicle shows them all who's boss and we salvage this cycle after all. I was sick last weekend, so maybe that threw everything off?
Defeated, deflated, and disappointed. Obviously ice cream will help.
Restarting fertility treatments after having a baby is very strange. I don't have the same fears and insecurities that I had the first time around. I know that I can do this - why stress? Well...
Day 1 came and I had already been to a couple of acupuncture appointments so I was feeling way ahead of the game. I went to the clinic on day 3 for blood and ultrasound, and then again on day 7, all the while continuing with acupuncture every few days. Everything seemed to be on track and we were really looking forward to this appointment (day 9) because I tend to ovulate early in my cycle, so this one was going to be one of the "it's getting close" ones.
At today's appointment, I heard words I've never heard before: you might not ovulate this cycle. What? Me? I'm the girl who got pregnant on my totally unmedicated cycle! I'm the girl who can tell, down to the minute, exactly when I surge. How could I not ovulate?? My estrogen is plummeting and my lining is thinning out, so there you have it. Irrefutable evidence. Ugh.
So I'll go back on day 11 and hope that the 1.4 cm left-side follicle shows them all who's boss and we salvage this cycle after all. I was sick last weekend, so maybe that threw everything off?
Defeated, deflated, and disappointed. Obviously ice cream will help.
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